How to make...Spaghetti!

I see all these blogs about cooking...and I figured, well, I can do that. I am a sort-of better than average cook...my husband will tell you I have come along way since the plain chicken breast on the George Forman grill, accompanied with the bag-o-rice. So my first addition to the "how to make" series, is the very gormet, the very chic, spaghetti on a plate.

I was first inspired this particular day to photograph my daily, usually 30 minutes or less meal, by this big ass onion.

No really, I don't think you are taking me seriously. This onion is like a head. A huge head. Bet it goes to sleep and cries on it's HUGE pillow...

Now do you believe me? Okay, so I bet you have no idea what to do next. Don't worry, I will take this slow, and before you know it, you too, will be able to make spagetti for your own family.

Now, my Dad taught me how to correctly dice an onion once, but I totally forgot how. I diced about 1/4 of the gigantor onion into...I dunno, dices...pieces...cuts...squares....?? What in the heck do you call them? And, of course, I cried.

Here is where I get super fancy. I add a green pepper. I know, I know...you are like, "wow! I had never thought of that!" I am here for you.You are so welcome.

 

Now sautee with a bit of E.V.O.O. I got this Rachel Ray, I got this.

It's seriously is gonna get all Emeril up in here...chop up some fire roasted red bell pepper and add it to the mix.

 

Here is the secret ingredient. No, Matthew it is not love. It's Italian sausage. It is greasy. It is fattening. It is bad for you. And, no...I don't want to know a good substitute. Throw that shit in. It is DELICIOUS.

Now, there sauce snobs out there who won't like this next part, but you don't pay attention to them okay? They pick and squeeze their own tomatoes...have their garlic flown in from China (FYI: the worlds largest producer of garlic).They simmer and stir and add and taste and all sorts of other stuff. Got it. I don't. I've done it once. Not only did it suck...well, no, thats it. It just sucked. I can't fake it. So I turn to the jar. And so should you. It's good. Saves you aLOT of time. This is Trader Joes Traditional Marinara...and if those people ever come over, I'll humor them and tell them it's home made.

Went through this whole production, and didn't have spaghetti noodles. Welcome to my life. These are whole wheat egg noodles. Super delish. I do not boil to al dente like the package tells you to, because al dente is gross. I like overcooked and starchy.

Also, I realized late in the game I did not have a side vegetable dish. I was obviously suffering from a bad case of  "poorplanningitis" this day. Cooked baby carrots in butter? It works for the family...but I wouldn't recommend for guests.

Put your yummy sauce all over your overcooked noodles, and enjoy!! Thats all folks. Spaghetti. Decadence on a plate. Now, you try it. Amaze you family. Wow your friends. Impress the in-laws. Follow my simple steps and change your tuesday nights forever.